idano Blog Network

It has been nearly 8 months since I have posted on this site. Like many Christians I was going really well for a while proclaiming God’s greatness and faithfulness but when things got tough I stopped.

I guess that is the what the emnemy wanted.

For some reason I got it in my mind that if I was going through difficult times then I must not be in right standing with God. After taking a step back I realize that is not true. In fact the opposite seems to be reality. If you are truly being effective for God then the enemy is not going to leave you alone.

The bible says:

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all. (Psalm 34:19 NKJV)

The Last 8 Months

I think I have had more affections in the last 8 months then I did in the previous 8 months. That is saying a lot since I battled cancer twice during that time. For me the last 8 months have been filled with tens of medical procedures, ER visits, and hospital stays. In fact as I write this, I have been in the hospital for 3 days after a very scary medical emergency that landed me in the ER, which resulted me being admitted into the hospital.

I won’t go into details because that is not whist this post is about. This post is about God’s faithfulness.

See, even though I have been through so many things in the last 8 months God has delivered me out of each and every one of them. He has done that regardless of how much time I have spent in prayer or read my bible. His faithfulness to me has been consistent regardless of my inconsistency to Him.

Seeing His faithfulness it makes me so grateful to have Him in my life.

Yes, I have been through a lot of trials and tribulation in the last 8 months. But in the same time I have seen God do amazing and wonderful things. I look forward to what the next 8 months have to bring!

As I go into the Thanksgiving season I am overwhelmed by the things that I have to be thankful for. The reason for this is where I was at in my life just one year ago. To be honest I was not very thankful at that time.

A year ago in September I had been diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. I year ago this week I was in the middle of chemo and radiation treatment. I remember only being able to take one bite of ham for Thanksgiving because I could not swallow. It was a scary and sad time in my life.

This year it is so much different. After a reoccurrence of cancer at the beginning of this year, major surgery, and another regime of chemo I am done and cancer free. Wow, that is the first time I have said that – I am cancer free! It feels good .

This year I am looking forward to eating as much ham as I can stuff in my stomach along with all the other Thanksgiving goodies. I have no doctor’s appointments to go to, no treatments, no medications. I am back to a normal life. It feels so good to be here, I am so thankful that I made it through.

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

There is no way that I could have made it this far without some key people in my life. For them I give much thanks.

God

He was with me every moment of my battle against cancer. It is not that anyone left me or ran out on me but it is physically impossible for another human being to be there all the time for you. That is not impossible with God.

He said:

No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. – Joshua 1:5 NKJV

And He didn’t. There were times when I honestly would get mad at God and throw fits like a little kid because I did not like what I was going through. That did not matter to Him, He was still there for me, and He still is today.

My Wife

Although I said above that nobody could be there all the time for you my wife could only be beat by God himself. She takes such good care of me. There were times when I had to tell her to go do something for herself because she so attentive to me. She amazed me on how she could continue to love me and be there for me even when I would snap at her because I wasn’t feeling well.

The bible righty says:

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. – Proverbs 18:22 NKJV

All I can say is that I have received a ton of favor from God in the form of my wife. I love you babe!

My Kids

My kids helped me so much through this you have no idea. The did this by making me hopeful for the future. I did not bring them into this world to leave when they are young. No, I want to be here to see them grow up, finish school, get good jobs, marry, and have kids. I want to be apart of their lives every step of the way.

Their smiles, laughter, and questions about how I felt pushed me through every needle stick, treatment, and procedure. My view was if I could push myself and go through this then I could help them get through the hard parts of their lives. That is a part of why I am here.

I had to overcome so much fear in the last year that I feel much more qualified to help them overcome the fears that they will face. Going through what I went through has equipped me to be a better parent now. My hope is that by being a better parent they will have better lives.

Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father. – Proverbs 17:6 NKJV

They truly are my crown.

Other Family, Friends, …

There are countless other people that helped during this time. Family members, friends, ministries, organization, etc that in some way reached out to my family and I and helped. They were instrumental in helping us when we could not help ourselves. Seeing people reach out like that inspires me to want to do the same.

Thank you to all of you that helped during this time.

Conclusion

The things that I have had to go through in the last year have not been pleasant but I made it through them. I truly feel like I have come out better on the other side. I am so thankful to have made it and am thankful for the people that were there that helped my family and I along the way.

My hope is that as I return to normal life that I can take what I have experienced and learned and use it help others that may need a little help themselves.

As I go into the Thanksgiving season I am overwhelmed by the things that I have to be thankful for. The reason for this is where I was at in my life just one year ago. To be honest I was not very thankful at that time.

A year ago in September I had been diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. I year ago this week I was in the middle of chemo and radiation treatment. I remember only being able to take one bite of ham for Thanksgiving because I could not swallow. It was a scary and sad time in my life.

This year it is so much different. After a reoccurrence of cancer at the beginning of this year, major surgery, and another regime of chemo I am done and cancer free. Wow, that is the first time I have said that – I am cancer free! It feels good .

This year I am looking forward to eating as much ham as I can stuff in my stomach along with all the other Thanksgiving goodies. I have no doctor’s appointments to go to, no treatments, no medications. I am back to a normal life. It feels so good to be here, I am so thankful that I made it through.

Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

There is no way that I could have made it this far without some key people in my life. For them I give much thanks.

God

He was with me every moment of my battle against cancer. It is not that anyone left me or ran out on me but it is physically impossible for another human being to be there all the time for you. That is not impossible with God.

He said:

No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. – Joshua 1:5 NKJV

And He didn’t. There were times when I honestly would get mad at God and throw fits like a little kid because I did not like what I was going through. That did not matter to Him, He was still there for me, and He still is today.

My Wife

Although I said above that nobody could be there all the time for you my wife could only be beat by God himself. She takes such good care of me. There were times when I had to tell her to go do something for herself because she so attentive to me. She amazed me on how she could continue to love me and be there for me even when I would snap at her because I wasn’t feeling well.

The bible righty says:

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. – Proverbs 18:22 NKJV

All I can say is that I have received a ton of favor from God in the form of my wife. I love you babe!

My Kids

My kids helped me so much through this you have no idea. The did this by making me hopeful for the future. I did not bring them into this world to leave when they are young. No, I want to be here to see them grow up, finish school, get good jobs, marry, and have kids. I want to be apart of their lives every step of the way.

Their smiles, laughter, and questions about how I felt pushed me through every needle stick, treatment, and procedure. My view was if I could push myself and go through this then I could help them get through the hard parts of their lives. That is a part of why I am here.

I had to overcome so much fear in the last year that I feel much more qualified to help them overcome the fears that they will face. Going through what I went through has equipped me to be a better parent now. My hope is that by being a better parent they will have better lives.

Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father. – Proverbs 17:6 NKJV

They truly are my crown.

Other Family, Friends, …

There are countless other people that helped during this time. Family members, friends, ministries, organization, etc that in some way reached out to my family and I and helped. They were instrumental in helping us when we could not help ourselves. Seeing people reach out like that inspires me to want to do the same.

Thank you to all of you that helped during this time.

Conclusion

The things that I have had to go through in the last year have not been pleasant but I made it through them. I truly feel like I have come out better on the other side. I am so thankful to have made it and am thankful for the people that were there that helped my family and I along the way.

My hope is that as I return to normal life that I can take what I have experienced and learned and use it help others that may need a little help themselves.

It has been a while since I posted on this site. The reason for that is that I have been going through a lot personally especially with going through chemo. As bad as the chemo has been at times I will admit that the emotional and spiritual battles have also been very difficult. During these times the feelings of loneliness and dispair were quite great. It is by God’s grace and the people that He has had around me that I believe allowed me to persevere through these times. There is one other thing that happened during this time that I believe allowed me to push through to victory.

I learned to speak to my mountains.

I am sure that if you have been in church for any amount of time you have heard the scripture that references this phrase. As a recap here it is again:

“I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. – Mark 11:23

I was reminded of this verse while listening to Joel Osteen recently. In that message he explained that a lot of us when we get into trouble pray about the mountain that is front of us. We talk about the mountain. We even get others to pray about the mountain for us. What we don’t do is speak to the mountain.

How is Speaking to the Mountain Different then Praying About It?

It is the is the difference between someone talking to you and talking about you – there is a difference.

If someone is talking about you and not to you it is usually because they are afraid of you. It is the bold people who don’t beat around the bush and go directly to the source in order to get a result. These people may seem rude at times for being so direct but these are the people that usually get results.

We need to be direct when a mountain is staring us down.

For me I had a whole host of mountains that were trying to stop me from getting better. The biggest mountain was nausea which was a direct result of chemo treatment. A byproduct of the nausea was depression in that I was starting to feel disconnect and like I didn’t care any more. On top of that our finances were looking the worst that they ever had through our entire battle with cancer. Things were not looking good. These mountains were the biggest that I had ever seen.

With God’s grace I realized that focusing on the mountains was not a good path to go down. After listen to Pastor Joel’s message I knew what I needed to do – speak to the mountains and get them out of my way. Don’t get me wrong, I had prayed about the mountains and even asked others to pray for me as well. Unfortunately the mountains didn’t seem to care that they were being prayed or “talked” about. As long as no one was addressing them directly they weren’t going anywhere.

I Spoke to Directly to My Mountains

So I spoke to my mountains… and they didn’t go anywhere, at first. But, by speaking to the mountains I did begin to feel better. I felt better because I knew that I was acting in faith according to God’s word. I was doing this on a couple different levels. By me talking to the mountains I was acknowledging that God had the power to change my situation and that He had given me His power to do so. The bible says:

…the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4

I was also acknowledging God in the fact that it was not His will for me to be sick, depressed, or broke.

For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills;8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Deuteronomy 8:7-10

My mountains did eventually fall into the sea. My nausea went away, finances started to come to dig us out, and depression started to lift. In speaking to the mountains that were in front of me I believe it gave me the faith to overcome those mountains. Initially I thought that the mountains were impassable but with God’s help I overcame them. I overcame them by speaking directly to them.

Here is the message from Joel Olsteen that reminded me to speak to my mountains. I hope you find it helpful as well.

Joel Osteen – Mountain Moving Faith

Photo By ecstaticist via flickr.

It has been a while since I posted on this site. The reason for that is that I have been going through a lot personally especially with going through chemo. As bad as the chemo has been at times I will admit that the emotional and spiritual battles have also been very difficult. During these times the feelings of loneliness and dispair were quite great. It is by God’s grace and the people that He has had around me that I believe allowed me to persevere through these times. There is one other thing that happened during this time that I believe allowed me to push through to victory.

I learned to speak to my mountains.

I am sure that if you have been in church for any amount of time you have heard the scripture that references this phrase. As a recap here it is again:

“I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. – Mark 11:23

I was reminded of this verse while listening to Joel Osteen recently. In that message he explained that a lot of us when we get into trouble pray about the mountain that is front of us. We talk about the mountain. We even get others to pray about the mountain for us. What we don’t do is speak to the mountain.

How is Speaking to the Mountain Different then Praying About It?

It is the is the difference between someone talking to you and talking about you – there is a difference.

If someone is talking about you and not to you it is usually because they are afraid of you. It is the bold people who don’t beat around the bush and go directly to the source in order to get a result. These people may seem rude at times for being so direct but these are the people that usually get results.

We need to be direct when a mountain is staring us down.

For me I had a whole host of mountains that were trying to stop me from getting better. The biggest mountain was nausea which was a direct result of chemo treatment. A byproduct of the nausea was depression in that I was starting to feel disconnect and like I didn’t care any more. On top of that our finances were looking the worst that they ever had through our entire battle with cancer. Things were not looking good. These mountains were the biggest that I had ever seen.

With God’s grace I realized that focusing on the mountains was not a good path to go down. After listen to Pastor Joel’s message I knew what I needed to do – speak to the mountains and get them out of my way. Don’t get me wrong, I had prayed about the mountains and even asked others to pray for me as well. Unfortunately the mountains didn’t seem to care that they were being prayed or “talked” about. As long as no one was addressing them directly they weren’t going anywhere.

I Spoke to Directly to My Mountains

So I spoke to my mountains… and they didn’t go anywhere, at first. But, by speaking to the mountains I did begin to feel better. I felt better because I knew that I was acting in faith according to God’s word. I was doing this on a couple different levels. By me talking to the mountains I was acknowledging that God had the power to change my situation and that He had given me His power to do so. The bible says:

…the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4

I was also acknowledging God in the fact that it was not His will for me to be sick, depressed, or broke.

For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills;8 a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9 a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Deuteronomy 8:7-10

My mountains did eventually fall into the sea. My nausea went away, finances started to come to dig us out, and depression started to lift. In speaking to the mountains that were in front of me I believe it gave me the faith to overcome those mountains. Initially I thought that the mountains were impassable but with God’s help I overcame them. I overcame them by speaking directly to them.

Here is the message from Joel Olsteen that reminded me to speak to my mountains. I hope you find it helpful as well.

Joel Osteen – Mountain Moving Faith

Photo By ecstaticist via flickr.

It has been a while since I posted here. The reason for that is that so much has happened in my life in the last few months. Literally my life was going one direction and from one moment to the next it went another direction.

What happened was that I found out that the cancer I thought I had beat had come back. Finding out that news caused my wife and I to make some pretty big decisions in a pretty short time. One of those decisions was to have surgery to remove the parts of my stomach and esophagus that had been cancerous.

I ended up having the surgery two weeks later. The surgery went well and the doctor got all the known cancer out. During the weeks following the surgery I would have my good days and not so good days. I learned to understand that this was apart of recovery. Overall though the first few weeks of my recovery went well.

Unfortunately in the 4th and 5th weeks of recovery I ended up in the emergency room 3 times for various things related to the surgery. None of the items ended up being to serious and I thank God for that. Unfortunately during that time it was hard for me to deal with these medical conditions from day to day.

It was during this time that I began to realize that I needed to learn how to live moment to moment as opposed to day to day.

The reason for this is that I would have good things and not so good things all happen in the same day. It would seem at one moment I was on top of the world and the next I was in the lowest pit. As I started having more and more of these days I realized that I needed to cherish the good moments and not dwell on the bad when they came. By doing this it made the not so good moments more bearable.

Paul said it like this:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. – Philippians 4:11-12 NIV

I think that is what I am learning through all of this. I am learning to not let the bad out-shadow the good. Everyday we have on this earth is going to be filled with good and bad. It is up to us what we choose to look at and dwell on. We cannot control the bad news that comes our way but we can control how we react to it.

It has been a while since I posted here. The reason for that is that so much has happened in my life in the last few months. Literally my life was going one direction and from one moment to the next it went another direction.

What happened was that I found out that the cancer I thought I had beat had come back. Finding out that news caused my wife and I to make some pretty big decisions in a pretty short time. One of those decisions was to have surgery to remove the parts of my stomach and esophagus that had been cancerous.

I ended up having the surgery two weeks later. The surgery went well and the doctor got all the known cancer out. During the weeks following the surgery I would have my good days and not so good days. I learned to understand that this was apart of recovery. Overall though the first few weeks of my recovery went well.

Unfortunately in the 4th and 5th weeks of recovery I ended up in the emergency room 3 times for various things related to the surgery. None of the items ended up being to serious and I thank God for that. Unfortunately during that time it was hard for me to deal with these medical conditions from day to day.

It was during this time that I began to realize that I needed to learn how to live moment to moment as opposed to day to day.

The reason for this is that I would have good things and not so good things all happen in the same day. It would seem at one moment I was on top of the world and the next I was in the lowest pit. As I started having more and more of these days I realized that I needed to cherish the good moments and not dwell on the bad when they came. By doing this it made the not so good moments more bearable.

Paul said it like this:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. – Philippians 4:11-12 NIV

I think that is what I am learning through all of this. I am learning to not let the bad out-shadow the good. Everyday we have on this earth is going to be filled with good and bad. It is up to us what we choose to look at and dwell on. We cannot control the bad news that comes our way but we can control how we react to it.

In life it is hard to not be swayed by circumstances. Sometimes in life you are on top of the faith mountain one moment and find yourself at the bottom of it the next.

I recently found myself in this situation.

In my previous post a talked about visiting my friend in the hospital who had been diagnosed with cancer a month after I had been. He and I talked about faith and God’s ability to heal him. We also talked about how life and death were in the power of the tongue and how through that power we have the power to stay or leave this life.

He chose to leave.

It was barely a week after I wrote that last post. I can’t say that I blame him. I guess in that week from when I had seen him to when he passed away he had not eaten and was extremely weak. I believe that he got the point where being with God looked like a better alternative then being here on earth. I don’t hold it against him but my heart hurts for him and his family. In my opinion his life was cut short.

His passing shook my faith.It was a couple days later that I found myself at my Oncologist for a follow up appointment and the question of surgery came up again. Fear had crept in to both my wife’s and my hearts to where we considered but quickly dismissed it after prayer and seeking God.

My faith was shaken again.

About a week later I visited the GI doctor and found out that I have celiac disease. It is an autoimmune disorder that basically tells my body to attack my small intestines when I eat wheat products that contain gluten. I found out that this could have been a large contributor to the cancer I had.

More shaking.

The treatment for celiac disease is a gluten free diet. Literally from one day to the next 80% of the food that I was used to eating was now off limits. It was a huge change for me.

Yet more shaking.

So here I am 3 weeks after the celiac disease diagnoses and I feel that I have plateaued. I am getting used to the gluten free diet and things are good. Unfortunately I start to feel really dry in my throat and schedule an appointment with the GI doctor. He is not sure what is going on but thinks we should take a look. Therefore I have another EDG scheduled for next week.

Shaken to the core.

All the same questions start to swirl in my mind – is the cancer back? Is it something else? Is it nothing. What if this, what if that? I just become numb.

Fortunately God is there.

I spent time with Him yesterday and told him how I felt. I told him how I was scared. I asked Him if I made the wrong decision not to get surgery. I question him about what is going to happen to my business and my family.

He reminds me of His promise – He has healed me.

At first those words did not comfort me, I couldn’t hear that. As the day went on though it started to sink in – either God is who He says He is or He isn’t. Either I trust Him or I don’t. Again I am questioned about what I really believe. What do I believe? Do I really trust Him?

Yes, I trust God.

That realization brought so much hope to me. With that realization it does not matter what happens – good or bad – He is with me and He will help me. On top of that He did promise me healing and I receive that promise. I don’t need to play the “what if” game because He has that covered. He would not have brought me this far if He was going to let me perish. Life or death is my decision – He has given me that choice and I choose life.

In 1 Kings 18:25-40 we see the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal. In that story he has great faith to have God consume his enemies which were the prophets of Baal. But as soon as that Jezebel hears of what Elijah did and tells him that she is going to kill him. Instead of remembering the great victory that God had just given him he cowards away in a cave.

His faith was shaken.

While in the cave the Lord came to Elijah and spoke to him in a gentle whisper. In that whisper He told Elijah that He had the provision in place to overcome his enemies. Elijah listened to God and followed His direction and had victory.

It is in those times that our faith is shaken that we need to stop and listen for the voice of the Lord. It is that voice that brings us peace as He reminds us of His promises. We just have to get still enough to listen.

My circumstances have not changed – I still have the EDG on Monday – but I have peace. I know I am not alone. I know that God is with me. His promise of healing is fresh in my heart and my expectation is that I will see it come to pass. That is all I need to know.

In life it is hard to not be swayed by circumstances. Sometimes in life you are on top of the faith mountain one moment and find yourself at the bottom of it the next.

I recently found myself in this situation.

In my previous post a talked about visiting my friend in the hospital who had been diagnosed with cancer a month after I had been. He and I talked about faith and God’s ability to heal him. We also talked about how life and death were in the power of the tongue and how through that power we have the power to stay or leave this life.

He chose to leave.

It was barely a week after I wrote that last post. I can’t say that I blame him. I guess in that week from when I had seen him to when he passed away he had not eaten and was extremely weak. I believe that he got the point where being with God looked like a better alternative then being here on earth. I don’t hold it against him but my heart hurts for him and his family. In my opinion his life was cut short.

His passing shook my faith.It was a couple days later that I found myself at my Oncologist for a follow up appointment and the question of surgery came up again. Fear had crept in to both my wife’s and my hearts to where we considered but quickly dismissed it after prayer and seeking God.

My faith was shaken again.

About a week later I visited the GI doctor and found out that I have celiac disease. It is an autoimmune disorder that basically tells my body to attack my small intestines when I eat wheat products that contain gluten. I found out that this could have been a large contributor to the cancer I had.

More shaking.

The treatment for celiac disease is a gluten free diet. Literally from one day to the next 80% of the food that I was used to eating was now off limits. It was a huge change for me.

Yet more shaking.

So here I am 3 weeks after the celiac disease diagnoses and I feel that I have plateaued. I am getting used to the gluten free diet and things are good. Unfortunately I start to feel really dry in my throat and schedule an appointment with the GI doctor. He is not sure what is going on but thinks we should take a look. Therefore I have another EDG scheduled for next week.

Shaken to the core.

All the same questions start to swirl in my mind – is the cancer back? Is it something else? Is it nothing. What if this, what if that? I just become numb.

Fortunately God is there.

I spent time with Him yesterday and told him how I felt. I told him how I was scared. I asked Him if I made the wrong decision not to get surgery. I question him about what is going to happen to my business and my family.

He reminds me of His promise – He has healed me.

At first those words did not comfort me, I couldn’t hear that. As the day went on though it started to sink in – either God is who He says He is or He isn’t. Either I trust Him or I don’t. Again I am questioned about what I really believe. What do I believe? Do I really trust Him?

Yes, I trust God.

That realization brought so much hope to me. With that realization it does not matter what happens – good or bad – He is with me and He will help me. On top of that He did promise me healing and I receive that promise. I don’t need to play the “what if” game because He has that covered. He would not have brought me this far if He was going to let me perish. Life or death is my decision – He has given me that choice and I choose life.

In 1 Kings 18:25-40 we see the story of Elijah and the prophets of Baal. In that story he has great faith to have God consume his enemies which were the prophets of Baal. But as soon as that Jezebel hears of what Elijah did and tells him that she is going to kill him. Instead of remembering the great victory that God had just given him he cowards away in a cave.

His faith was shaken.

While in the cave the Lord came to Elijah and spoke to him in a gentle whisper. In that whisper He told Elijah that He had the provision in place to overcome his enemies. Elijah listened to God and followed His direction and had victory.

It is in those times that our faith is shaken that we need to stop and listen for the voice of the Lord. It is that voice that brings us peace as He reminds us of His promises. We just have to get still enough to listen.

My circumstances have not changed – I still have the EDG on Monday – but I have peace. I know I am not alone. I know that God is with me. His promise of healing is fresh in my heart and my expectation is that I will see it come to pass. That is all I need to know.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit a very good friend of mine. This friend was diagnosed with cancer a month after I was. He went through treatment similar to me – chemotherapy but no radiation. The unfortunate part is that the cancer did not respond to the chemo he received, it got worse.

The day before I went to see my friend he was given the news that cancer had spread and now there was nothing that they could do for him. That is a devastating thing to be told. The doctor said that they could make him comfortable for the rest of his time. Tragic.

When I heard this it threw me for a loop. He had been believing for healing and so was everyone else for him. It was not the news that anyone expected to hear.

When I went to see him yesterday I was already determined that I was going to pray for him. The focus of my prayer I felt was for wisdom and not necessarily healing. I didn’t quite understand why this was but that is what I knew I was going to pray for.

In the course of visiting with him he and I talked about several things. One of those things was what I went through in my treatment for cancer.In my treatment I had reached a point with one of my doctors where I felt that he was no longer effective in my treatment. That is not to say anything bad about him but I felt that I could be getting better information about my individual situation from a doctor who was more familiar with my type of cancer. I told him how I had then gone to another cancer doctor and had gotten better information which led to better treatment.

In telling him this story it dawned on me – his situation was not an end, it was just another chapter in his life, and not the last chapter.

As I brought this up to him I explained that maybe this doctor wasn’t too familiar with his type of cancer and so that was all that he could do for him. Maybe someone who was more familiar with my friends type of cancer could do more. He agreed.

As we talked about this I could see the difference in him as he went from despair to hope. The doctor had given up on him but God had not. I explained to my friend that it was up to him as to whether he was going to receive the word of the doctor and die or the word of God and live.

As the bible says:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. – Proverbs 18:21 NKJ

As far as God is considered it is up to my friend as to when he checks out of this life. If he wants to stay then God will give him everything that he needs in order to do so. I am happy to say that my friend agreed with me.

The rest of my time with him in the hospital we talked about different places that he had heard of that could possibly help him. We were also blessed to be able to talk about non-cancer items as well. In all we had a good time together.

When it was time for me to leave I told him how I had felt the need to pray for wisdom before I had come. In my prayer I prayed that God would direct him in this next chapter of his life. I prayed that God would direct him to the people that would know how to fix his situation. I also prayed that he would continue to choose life, and not death, and complete the purpose that God has for him in this life.

He agreed with me in those prayers and we both believe that they will come to pass. I can’t wait to see God do it.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit a very good friend of mine. This friend was diagnosed with cancer a month after I was. He went through treatment similar to me – chemotherapy but no radiation. The unfortunate part is that the cancer did not respond to the chemo he received, it got worse.

The day before I went to see my friend he was given the news that cancer had spread and now there was nothing that they could do for him. That is a devastating thing to be told. The doctor said that they could make him comfortable for the rest of his time. Tragic.

When I heard this it threw me for a loop. He had been believing for healing and so was everyone else for him. It was not the news that anyone expected to hear.

When I went to see him yesterday I was already determined that I was going to pray for him. The focus of my prayer I felt was for wisdom and not necessarily healing. I didn’t quite understand why this was but that is what I knew I was going to pray for.

In the course of visiting with him he and I talked about several things. One of those things was what I went through in my treatment for cancer.In my treatment I had reached a point with one of my doctors where I felt that he was no longer effective in my treatment. That is not to say anything bad about him but I felt that I could be getting better information about my individual situation from a doctor who was more familiar with my type of cancer. I told him how I had then gone to another cancer doctor and had gotten better information which led to better treatment.

In telling him this story it dawned on me – his situation was not an end, it was just another chapter in his life, and not the last chapter.

As I brought this up to him I explained that maybe this doctor wasn’t too familiar with his type of cancer and so that was all that he could do for him. Maybe someone who was more familiar with my friends type of cancer could do more. He agreed.

As we talked about this I could see the difference in him as he went from despair to hope. The doctor had given up on him but God had not. I explained to my friend that it was up to him as to whether he was going to receive the word of the doctor and die or the word of God and live.

As the bible says:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. – Proverbs 18:21 NKJ

As far as God is considered it is up to my friend as to when he checks out of this life. If he wants to stay then God will give him everything that he needs in order to do so. I am happy to say that my friend agreed with me.

The rest of my time with him in the hospital we talked about different places that he had heard of that could possibly help him. We were also blessed to be able to talk about non-cancer items as well. In all we had a good time together.

When it was time for me to leave I told him how I had felt the need to pray for wisdom before I had come. In my prayer I prayed that God would direct him in this next chapter of his life. I prayed that God would direct him to the people that would know how to fix his situation. I also prayed that he would continue to choose life, and not death, and complete the purpose that God has for him in this life.

He agreed with me in those prayers and we both believe that they will come to pass. I can’t wait to see God do it.

I spent a good portion of yesterday crunching on this task for a project that I am working on for a client. It seemed that no matter which angle I tried to attack this task that I could never get it completed in an easy way. I ended yesterday with a plan on how to complete it that was less then desirable.

This morning I woke up and had the oppertunity to spend some time with God. While I was with Him I felt him tell me that it was easier then I thought. While that made me feel a little better I wasn’t convinced because I still did not know exactly what I was going to do.

After that I checked my email and read the daily message sent to me by Joel Osteen. The title of the email was "The Great I Am" and started off with the scripture:

"God said to Moses, ‘I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you’ " - Exodus 3:14

The email went of to talk about how big God is and how He is on our side. It explained that God is saying "I am everything you need. I am your strength. I am your wisdom. I am your protection. I am your provider. I am your way maker. I am your problem solver."

He backed this up with the scripture:

"Though I am surrounded by troubles, You will bring me safely through. Your fist is clenched against my enemies. Your power will save me." – Psalm 138:7

God is our problem solver no matter how big or small.

It does not matter whether we are battling cancer, debt, or how to figure out a smaller issue for a project at work – God is there to help us out.

So I start today optimistic that I will be able to solve this issue for my project and that it will be easier then I thought it would be yesterday. This is all because I have the creator of the universe on my side and He is willing to help me out if I ask him.

Update 2/2/10

I did start that day out with the right attitude and I was able to get the task done that I needed to get with relative ease. It is amazing how things work out so much better when you have God helping you out. All the glory to Him!

Over 2 years ago I wrote a post on this blog on how I was stepping out and getting involved in church again. The ministry that I had volunteered for was the media ministry. I went to a meeting and even sat up in the media booth during a service to see how to operate their system for the projector.

I thought I was ready but it just wasn’t time.

The service that I sat in was the first and only service that I did anything in regard to the media ministry. I am not exactly sure why things did not work out, but I think there were still some areas in my life that God still needed to work on. It was kind of weird not being involved but I think you need to learn how to receive as a Christian and walk the walk before you can minster. So that is what I did. During that time my wife and I attended a couple of small groups so we still had fellowship and got to know people in the church. We are still involved with the small groups today.

Over the last six months due to some personal circumstances I saw the need to spend more time with God personally and began to do so. During that time I read the book Caught Between A Dream and A Job and am currently reading The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? In both of these books they talk about how God has a plan for your life and how you were created for a purpose. I believe both of these things and set out to see what it is that God has to do for me here on earth.

There are a couple of ways that I am seeking God in order to find out my purpose.

The first is that I am trying to spend time with Him daily and work on the areas that He shows me to work on. The bible says that if I draw close to Him that He will draw close to me. I figure the closer that I am to Him the more likely I am going to get a glimpse of what He has created me for.

The second thing that I am doing is opening myself to be used by Him at church. Before it was difficult with the kids and having to sit through services by myself and/or have my wife be by herself. This time around the church is a little more flexible in that you can tell them when you are available to work. My wife and I chose the same schedule for availability for Wednesdays every other week. We may be working in different ministries but we will still be able to be in service together in the weeks that we are not working. That works much better for us.

I also requested information on another ministry that is outside of regular services times. I will have to see what the commitment for that one is before I can say whether I can be involved in it.

I think things are different this time around because I do not feel compelled to get involved out of habit. I am getting involved because I desire to. I want to do my part no matter how small to make my church a better place so that hopefully others can get closer to God. We will see how it goes.

I feel that it is time that I chimed in on the current financial crisis that is gripping the world. I think that I am not alone in my concern about the future and while I have not been directly affected at this point sometimes not knowing is as bad as something actually happening. Hopefully my personal experience in dealing with this will help others that may be struggling during this time.

The Last Financial Crisis

Before tackling the current financial crisis let’s look at the one that just happened seven short years ago. Back in 2001 it was the golden age of the internet. Billion dollar valuations of companies grew on trees and we were all going to be millionaires by 25 and retire billionaires by 30. It was a time of extravagance and money flowed freely.

During this time I was a couple of year into my Christianity and was newly married. I had gotten it into my head that God wanted to bless me and thought that these blessing were flowing through credit. I had gone wild and bought anything and everything that they would let me buy on credit including a house. Three weeks after buying the house I was laid off from my job due to the economy. I hadn’t even made the first payment on the house.

For the next 2 years my wife and I struggled along as she worked full time and I tried to start/run a business in the technology field. After 2 years we were stripped of just about everything (including the house) and found ourselves renting from her dad once again. I struggled another couple of years with the business until we started having kids. A couple of events happened and I found myself hitting rock bottom.

The Turning Point

The turning point for me was when I got into a business financial dispute with a really good friend that cost me our friendship. I remember sitting in my car with my wife looking at her knowing that if I didn’t change things that I could very well lose her next. It was at that point that I decided to quit the business and go get a job and try to take care of my family the way that a real man of God should.

Since that time my wife and I have been extremely blessed. I believe that choosing to make my family’s needs a priority as opposed to mine allowed God to come into our situation and allowed His blessing and provision to flow. We are more blessed today then we every have been in order lives.

(You can read my perspective on Christian priorities in my post – Priorities as a Christian)

The 2008 and Beyond Financial Crisis

Today’s financial crisis isn’t much different then the one that happened seven years ago. There was money flowing and people were looking to get rich quick and retire young. This time around though it was real estate that was the catalyst for what we are facing. The only difference this time around is that the housing sector is far larger then the technology sector and therefore is and will impact far more people. I do not remember any government bailouts for technology companies seven years ago but we have already had one for the Financial sector and now the auto industry is asking for one as well.

Last time there were several factors that I personally contributed to that allowed the financial downturn to affect me. I had far more debt then I should of. I also had switched jobs not long before getting laid off to a newly created position that was easily expendable (so I found out later). The position I transferred from was one of the few positions that actually remained when all was said and done and hindsight shows me that God was trying to protect me from what was coming. In the last financial crisis I contributed a lot to my anguish and I know and understand that now.

This time around I feel that I am in the right place with God and in the job that He wants me to be in. We have a little debt (still more then I would want) that is easily manageable. I have been tempted at times to fly the coop at my job but have stuck it out and am glad that I did. This time around I should be in a much better place to ride this storm out.

So why do I still get scared as if I am going to lose it all?

Who’s in Control?

I get scared at times because I listen to the news a little too much. I hear the unemployment reports and hear of people getting laid off. At first I was really into the watching and reading the news as it was happening and was finding myself getting more and more depressed. I was easily losing my temper around my wife and kids and had little motivation to do anything. I was down trodden because I felt like I was not in control and my destiny was uncertain. I felt like at any moment I could get that call into my boss’s office to be told that today would be my last day. It was terrible.

Things got to the point that my wife noticed and we started talking about it. She looked at me in unbelief as I quoted her statistics of layoffs and other end of the world jargon that the news channels and internet had been spewing for weeks. Her look of unbelief was not at the actual information that I was saying but at the fact that it was coming out of me. She was pretty quick to remind me that whatever you feed grows and whatever you starve dies. She told me that it was pretty evident that I had been listen to the news more then God.

Her wake up call was the equivalent of getting a smack on the face.

For the previous weeks we had not been to church hardly at all and I had been consumed with all of the bad news floating around. The next day I downloaded several podcasts from various ministers that I know have good Word. I spent the next week listening to them during the day at work and by the end of the week things were looking much better from my perspective.

See, the world is going to tell you that this thing is going to hit you and take you down with it. If you listen to it you are giving the world control of your life and there is a very good possibility that it will do exactly that. But if you stop listening to what the world has to say and listen to God, you will find out that He has a plan ready and waiting for you and is eager to share it with you. His plan is that this financial crisis will have a minimum impact on you. In fact it is His will for you to prosper during this time so you can help other through it. What we have to do though is to make a conscious decision of who we are going to listen to – the world or God.

Fighting the Good Fight

After having the conversation with my wife I made the decision to make God’s Word the authority in my life. At first I was consumed with the Word and I was taken out of depression and was actually a pretty happy camper. Bad news would come but would go as quickly as it came. In my mind even if I got called into the office to be laid off I knew that it would be apart of God’s plan and therefore had nothing to fear. Things were going great.

After that first week I tapered off in listening without realizing it. By the end of the second week I was starting to slip back into listening to the news and into being depressed. Over the weekend I realized what was happening and hit the Word again that following Monday. Since then I have been pretty consistent with listening to the Word and have been doing pretty good.

Another thing that I noticed is that even when I am in the Word if I get really tired then I become more vulnerable. When overly tired I struggle a little more in fighting back the news of world. I now realize that as I continue to take in the Word that I need to make a conscious effort to catch up on my rest as well. The devil always looks for the weak or tired to go after so we need to makes sure we stay up on both.

Conclusion

Bad things are going to come an go. The Bible says that it rains on the just and the unjust (Matt 5:45). I believe that God always has a plan to cushion the blow though. You may have been living it up and now this financial crisis has or is about to catch up with you. You may have done everything right and did not get caught up in what was happening but still are now effected. Either way God has a plan to bring you out. Sometimes it is hard to understand or except that but He is our father, our dad.

Jeremiah 29:11 says:

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

The thing that always helps me in situations like this is to think of how I would be if my son was in the same situation.

If my son came to me and said “Dad, I played the real estate game and messed up, can you help me and my family out?” how would I react? Would I say “Well, that’s too bad, I hope you figure something out.”. No, I would help him. He might get a lecture from me but I am not going to leave my son and his family out in the cold because he made a mistake. I would do everything in my power to take care of him and help him get on his feet.

There is nothing that I would not do for my son.

I believe that God is the same way. There is nothing that He would not do for us. We just need to come to him. When we come to Him He will reassures us that He is in control and that he is going to take care of us (Deu 31:6). Anytime I get scared or concerned about something that has come my way there He is to let me us that everything it going to be alright. He is such a good dad.

Jobs come and go, houses, cars, etc the same. But God is always there, constant, never changing. He loves us and is more then willing to take us in and take care of us and our families. We just need to give Him the chance.

The subject of tithing has come up again recently in my spiritual walk so I thought I would share what I believe God has been showing me.

I know for a fact that God had me not tithe for some time. I think the reason for it was that I had a wrong motivation and/or thought process about it. I believe I wrote a entry in my personal journal a week or two ago about wanting to tithe but then I dropped off in listening to The Word and that fizzled out. So here I am listening to it again and the biggest thing I feel coming at me is to start giving.

This is very different from what it has been.

Old Testament verses New Testament

To sum it up quickly tithing was an Old Testament law and is not clearly defined in the New Testament. The church as a whole preaches that you need to tithe or your are cursed. I do not believe this to be true. The Bible clearly states that Jesus fulfilled the law and that we are redeemed from it (Gal 3:13) – we are no longer under the law’s curse and we are not to live by the law.

If you think about it that same scripture does away with the 10 commandments as well. So does that mean that we can now go around robbing, killing, and stealing? No not really. Jesus gave us the new command which wraps all of these into one – Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). So instead of walking with God legalistically we are to walk with Him relationally. When we do that we do not rob, kill, or steal because we love our neighbor as we do ourselves. In other words we do not want someone to do that to us so we do not do it to them.

New Testament Application of the Law

In the same way that we would not do bad things to people because we would not want them done to us, we should do good things to people because we would want them to do that to us as well.

If I was a full time minister and I spent my days studying and spending time with God so that I could try to help people be closer to him I would hope that they would appreciate what I did for them. The New Testament is very clear in the scripture – A worker is worthy of their wages (Luke 10:7). Being a minister is not easy and I believe that they should be compensated accordingly. On the same note, church buildings do not build themselves and ministries do not get free utilities. They have to pay them just like you and I and that money has to come from somewhere.

For me, I have been at my church for some time and it has enriched my life. I know that I have NOT given back anywhere near to the proportion to what I have received from them. Despite that they still let me in the door.

I think that the natural process of growing in Christ will bring every Christian to the point where they will have to address tithing. Tithing is not a deal breaker with God. He loves us all and will continue to give and take care of us. But when we make a decision in our heart to give for the right reasons I believe that is pleasing to Him.

I see it the same way as the child that wants to follow in the same career path as their parent. It is not that the parent loves that child more then their one child that wants to do something different. It is that parent has a common interest with that child and that naturally draws them closer together.

People are at the center of God’s heart and getting the gospel to them is His chief objective. I believe the biggest reason the whole world isn’t saved and we aren’t all sitting in heaven right now is because there isn’t enough money to get the job done. I don’t want to hold that back.

Starting to Tithe in a Practical Manner

So now that I have the right motive in my heart and the green light from The Big Guy how do I start? The reality of the situation is that on paper I cannot afford to tithe. My mind says “Wait until you get money/raise/etc then start”. My spirit says “That will never happen, as soon as you get more money you will have more commitment that will eat that money up”. I know the latter to be true.

So this is what I am looking to do. I am going to tip toe into this thing. I have several different income streams and I am going to look to have them tithe one at a time. I am trying to be wise about this. When you start excising you don’t go and run 5 miles the first day. You have to work your way up to it. I am going to do the same thing with tithing.

The other thing that I am going to do is continue to build my faith – especially since I do not have the money on paper to do it. To continue to build my in faith I am going to need to continue in the Word of God.

The word says – Give and it shall be given to you, press down, shaken together, and running over shall men give unto your bosom (Luke 6:38). I am not giving to get – that is not my motivation. I am giving because I want to give back for what I have already received. But, the spiritual law of sowing and reaping is still in effect even if that is not my motivation.

Using the same exercise analogy – the right motivation to exercising is to be healthy. A by-product of that is that you are probably going to look a whole lot better if you loose weight in the process. If your motivation is to look good you will never be happy because that’s a wrong motive. You will continue to punish yourself and never “look good” in your eyes. With tithing if your are trying to “get rich” by tithing you will never be happy because no matter how much money you have it will never be enough.

Motivation is the key here – why do you want to tithe?

Practical Steps to Start Tithing

Here are the steps that got me to where I am and where I am planning to go concerning tithing.

1. Get into the Word of God

   I did this by downloading free podcasts from various preachers and listening to them at work. I did not do this so I could start tithing it was just a by-product of listening to the Word. Be careful who you listen to on the subject of tithing. I was listening to one Pastor who really started to get into the curse of not tithing and it messed me up for a while. The Bible says to test all spirits so if something doesn’t seem right do not be afraid to question its validity.

2. Understand what the Word says about Tithing

   You will be cursed if you do not tithe IF you believe that you will be cursed, but the Bible does not say that. The New Testament says we are redeemed from the curse of the law. It also says that if you choose to live under the law then you are subject to ALL of the law. With that I believe that people can be tithing and giving but can be cursed at the same time because there are other aspects of the law that they are not keeping. What the New Testament does say is to be a cheerful giver, give because you want to, not because you feel you have to. 

3. Pray about Tithing

   This may seem weird but I really felt that God had said no about tithing to me up until this point. I do know that my heart and my motivations are different now then they were before. In everything we do we need to get confirmation from God to make sure that our timing is lined up with His even if what we are looking to do is scriptural. 

4. Start Tithing

   Once you get the green light from the big guy start tithing. You may be in a position where you can just write a check every time you get paid and your won’t feel it – awesome, go for it. For others (like me) writing a check for the whole amount is a stretch financially. My personal opinion is to start to give what you can and work up to the full tithe and possibly beyond. The key is to give when you first get paid as opposed to after you pay everything else because you most-likely will not have anything left to give. Even if you are giving just a little you are still giving and God sees your heart.

5. Be Blessed

   Be blessed in the fact that you know that you are giving money that is going to be used to advance the Kingdom of God. If that was the only reward of tithing then that should be enough for you. If you have that perspective then when God does begin to give back to you it is even a bigger blessing because that is not why you gave. Remember it all comes down to perspective and/or motivation for tithing.

I believe that the first 3 steps are probably the most important aspects of tithing. The Word is essentially to anything that we do when it comes to God and Ministry. We need to understand what the Word Says and then actually connect with God to understand how that Word applies to our individual life and/or situation. God never designed His kingdom to try to work without His word, the two go hand-in-hand.

Final Thoughts

Giving to God’s work is an honor and its proceeds are essential to furthering the kingdom of God. With that said not everyone can give. There is nothing wrong with that. God does not love you any less and your salvation is not dependent on whether you give or not. God loves you and wants to bless you here on earth and in heaven. He will bless you and provide for you regardless of whether you tithe or not – I can attest to that personally.

We as parents don’t get down on our children because they can’t walk when they are infants or cannot add 2 + 2 together when they are toddlers. God does not get down on us if we have not come to the understanding about the tithe or have the faith to do it.

Even if our child gets older and may be behind the rest of their age group in walking or adding 2 + 2 together , as parents we do not condemn them. We love them and try to help them come to the understanding of the things that would beneficial for them to do. God is the same way.

He loves us, He is our father and He wants to bless us and see us happy. He does everything in His power to help us and bring us to understanding so He can bless us. We just need to turn our heart towards Him and be open to His instruction.

I hope this post is help to folks who are looking for answers on tithing. I do get a lot of traffic on this site for people looking for answers about New Testament tithing so hopefully this will help. I am open for discussions on this subject so feel free to comment below.

While looking over a couple of posts here at The Abundant Life I noticed some spelling and grammar errors and started to correct them. In the process of cleaning up my inconsistencies I had to actually read some of the posts that I put up here and started to get a little embarrassed. The reason for my embarrassment was the fact that it has been tough being a Christian, going to church, and having a relationship with God over the last few years. Not only was it was it tough but I was sharing my struggles with the world. Looking back I wonder if that was a good idea as people (especially Christians – sorry) can be really judgmental.

To combat this concern I have to separate what I think people would say about me from what I know God says about me.

While the last few years have been tough living the type of Christian life that I was taught I know that I have grown in God at the same time. Church and the Word of God are important and necessary in your Christian walk but so is having a one-on-one relationship with God. I know that in early in my Christianity I focused on Church and the Word while over the last few years the focus has been on relationship. At this point in my life I feel that I am learning to balance between the two.

The one thing that I have learned through this process is the love that a father has for his son. As I have seen my my kids grow up I can see that God see me in the same way. There is nothing that I would not do for my kids and I know that God is the same way. They may need a pow-pow from time-to-time to remind them not to do certain things but I only do that because I love them and want them to grow up respectable and safe. I know that God sees me in the same way. There are times that I want to go and do things that are not the best and he will guide me back to the right path.

It is tough enough to be a Christian but putting your victories and failures out their for the world to see makes it a little tougher. I do it though not because I want to try and show off but because I hope that if people see my struggles that turn into victories that it will encourage them to continue on in God.